Avoid These Top 5 Discipline Mistakes
You may be stressed out about how to discipline your children especially if you have a toddler or a preschool child. Parents are the ones responsible for teaching their children lessons in life; however, due to the negativistic nature of children, parents sometimes are hard disciplining their children.
Most often, parents have different strategies to discipline their children. However, most of these are considered inappropriate and will just aggravate the condition rather than solving their behavioural problems. The following are the top 5 discipline mistakes, which you should avoid, along with the corresponding recommendations:
1. Telling a lie
White lies are sometimes the last resort for parents when they cannot get out of a conversation with their children. For instance, a child may ask about a new toy, but the parent says they can’t have it at the moment. The child suddenly goes into tantrum and the parent will have to tell the child that will go to buy it even if the parent does not mean it, just to stop the tantrum. Later on, the child will remember that their parent promised something and didn’t deliver it.
Tip: Instead of telling a lie, you might as well tell the truth even if it means a very long discussion with your child. You could explain that if you buy a new toy, you will not have enough money to buy their favourite snack or food.
2. Continuous threatening
When a child doesn’t stop whatever unacceptable behaviour they are doing, parents usually threaten the child with, “if you don’t stop, I will get all your toys and throw them away.” This creates a negative psychological impact on the child and it is not a good way to make them stop. Sometimes, children consistently do what you told them not to do.
Tip: Instead of threatening over and over again, give them a warning the first time and then use an immediate consequence such as a timeout. In this way, the child will have to understand the impact of their behaviour so they will never do it again.
3. Acting opposite to your partner when it comes to disciplining
When a mom scolds her child, the dad will often feel sorry for the child and take them for a treat. On the other hand, when dad scolds the child, the mom will take the child and make-up for dad’s scolding. If you consistently do this, one of you (parents) will consistently be the bad guy for your children.
Tip: You don’t have to scold your children together because doing this may also do harm. However, make sure that if they get disciplined by your partner; that you also let the child realize that what they did was not acceptable.
4. Breaking own rules
Parents also act inconsistently when disciplining their children. When parents are busy at night (say finishing office reports, etc.), children are not allowed to play in the room, while if the parents aren’t there they can play whenever they like. Although playing in the bedroom is not right (because bedrooms and beds are intended for sleeping and resting), when you inconsistently allow them to do it, they will do it over and over again.
Tip. Make sure to be consistent on the things that you want them to learn.
If moms or dads just can’t take it anymore, they resort to yelling at their children. This may be effective initially, but it creates a negative impact on children, and they learn to yell at other people too.
Tip: Take a time-out if you are mad, try counting to ten or walking out of the room. The next thing you know, you will be talking to your child in a nice way about their unacceptable behaviour.
Disciplining children is hard, but if you use the correct strategies, you can help your kids mature better.
Posted by Paula Wein